Jan 17

11% of the time…. It works everytime!


It’s sad really. The number of times I have the cable turned around and I try to put it in. Only to be met with an abrupt stop. Then I spin it around, and sometimes I don’t even have it lined up right to put it in the right way. USB! You’re so wonderful, why do you do that to me!?!?!

Jan 16

ISP wireless derp.

Think about it. I shouldn’t even have to tackle this one. Maybe I’m just being picky.

 

Jan 11

Doggy Style Derp

You know when you’re laying it in hard on some bitch and while you’re trying to get your groove on, her tail keeps getting in the way?… You probably don’t know because you’re not this sick douchebag. Ray Lynn Mitcham Jr. of Linden North Carolina is being charged with “Crimes against Nature” which is a felony. What did this 33 year old man do? He had sex with a dog. Apparently a woman who has not been named was going over to talk with Mitcham, but when she opened the door to his residence, she got more than she bargained for. What has been seen, cannot be unseen.

When questioned as to why he was performing coitus with a dog, Mitcham responded by saying; “The dog licked me in the face, so I kissed it. The dog sniffed my crotch, so I had sex with it. What can I say, we’re in love and we’re getting married.”

Mitcham is in jail with a $5,000 bond.  Oh how proud his family must be.

Jan 06

Developer Derp

Lets be honest we have all had our own personal Derp moment no matter how hard we try. Well I just had one.

As my current career has me working in a print shop, printers are my specialty. Most of my days are spent running and maintaining a Xerox iGen 3.

As far as printers go It’s a beautiful beast of a machine, with a footprint of 90 feet at it’s stripped down to basic size. I have heard of companies having systems that are configured up to 400 feet. Needless to say it’s a tad bit more complicated than your standard desktop laser printer. But no worries, $20,000 in training and a few tests later and I’m MORE than capable of doing maintenance on this thing.

Well Yesterday I was doing possibly one of the simplest tasks and that was a developer change. Over time the Developer, Microscopic metal beads that transfer the toner to the belt, wear down. No big deal. Do a quick change to my two problem colors and 30 minutes later we should be back to new.

1st color Magenta. ESD strap, Check. Re rout power for developer housing. Check. Remove plug to housing. Check. Vacuum out old developer. Yup that’s a check too. Replace plug, Dump in new developer check and check. MAGENTA DONE!

2nd color Cyan. ESD strap, Check. Re rout power for developer housing. Check. Remove plug to housing. Check. Vacuum out old developer. Yup that’s a check too. Dump in new developer check and WTF???? WHY IS THERE CYAN EVERYWHERE???? !@#$%^&* Forgot a step…. Stupid Plug.

I have done this process probably 10-15 times over the past 2 years. This was a 1st for me.

Jan 05

Alvin… Simon… EDWARD?!?!

chipwrecked

The fun filled glutinous chipmunk from the fuzzy trio “The Chipmunks” has been replaced with their new friend,

What would make a man dare to attempt this? Cocaine and SEX. Mr. Brown was told by a woman that if he sat in the front row of the theatre during the screening in the buff, she would give him cocaine and sex.  Edward. And no, not the sparkling blood sucking bat/vampire from the twilight series either. I’m talking about Edward Brown. Edward Brown attended the screening of Alvin and the Chipmunks – Chipwrecked. But Edward chose to expose his true side for the screening. Sitting in the front row wearing nothing but… well… nothing! Not a good idea Mr. Brown. He was arrested and charged with sexual exploitation of a child and misdemeanor disorderly conduct.

Well, Mr. Brown will be having lots of sex from here on out, even if he doesn’t want it.

And who could resist a smile like that one.

Read More

Jan 05

Roku has a few things up their sleeves after all.

So this past year Roku has definitely made a great name for themselves. They’ve quickly become the most popular slim streaming media player in the US. And with a price that keeps it competitive. They’re stepping up the game even more. An MHL stick that can run the Roku software. Now, a lot of people haven’t heard of what an MHL port is, but that’s because most TV’s don’t have them yet. There’s only about a handful of TV’s that even have it. But this port and this Roku stick will allow you to utilize your TV like a typical Roku box.

Now if only someone could hack this thing and throw XBMC on it, then I’d be VERY interested in it.

Read More

Jan 05

The Million Dollar Derp

So we’re getting into the new year with some pretty good stuff. Ok, so we’re a little slow in ramping up at the moment. But we’re working on it.

So I’m digging up this Derp from the crazy state of North Carolina.

This DerpTastic man named Michael Fuller decided he would go with his instinct instead of using his head when he attempted to pass a $1,000,000 bill as legal tender at Wal-Mart. What was he buying you might ask? A vacuum, microwave and some other items. We can only hope he was buying something that might sterilize himself. Look at that mug shot! I might have some nightmares after this post. Maybe he could have tried using that ca$hola to fix that wonk eye he’s got. Either way,  Michael has earned our prestigious “Derp of the Week” award and will be a possible shoe in for “Derp of the Month”

Want to read more? Here’s an article covering the story.

READ MORE

 

Dec 30

GoDaddy! Derp.

So this holiday has been a bit tough on GoDaddy. One of the most popular domain registrars in the world was outed as a supporter for the SOPA bill. If you don’t know what that is, read more here: SOPA BILL. After the discovery was announced over the media, a massive uprising against GoDaddy began. Shortly after the outing, GoDaddy said they no longer were supporting the SOPA bill, but they weren’t against it. Yesterday however, GoDaddy officially announced that the company is in opposition to the legislation.

Thursday Dec. 29th was also declared as the official “Leave GoDaddy Day” due to them supporting the SOPA bill. The announcement of the mass leave GoDaddy day caused a stir in the GoDaddy offices which resulted in an apology letter from CEO Warren Adelman.

We have observed a spike in domain name transfers, which are running above normal rates and which we attribute to GoDaddy’s prior support for SOPA, which was reversed… Go Daddy opposes SOPA because the legislation has not fulfilled its basic requirement to build a consensus among stake-holders in the technology and internet communities…

So the online backlash and organization of the masses to leave GoDaddy did change the companies mind on the matter. However not without a loss. Some of GoDaddy’s major clients have transferred domain registrars away from GoDaddy. Even other domain registrars openly announced their opposition to the legislation and offered discounts if new clients were leaving GoDaddy with discount codes such as “LEAVEGODADDY2011″ and “NOMOREGODADDY.”

But despite the mass of people transferring out of registrar giant’s control, they still ended up with 20,748 more domains at the end of the day, which doubled the number of transfers out. So all in all, hopefully GoDaddy learned a valuable lesson. Don’t #@$% with the internet.

Dec 30

iWatch? Forget that, i’m Watch!

So it’s not often that I rave about watches. Some people say that watches are a dieing technology that are now only reserved for the trendy, and wealthy as a status marker. Geeks tend to lean towards a few categories of watches. Something quality, ECO, or durable. With those categories in mind, I’ll list a few popular series that I’ve seen in the IT realm. SEIKO Kinetic, Citizen Eco Drive, Casio G-Shock, and Swiss Army watches. But if we wanted something a bit techy, we’re stuck with LED lights telling time in binary, or obscure half circles telling time.
With the ever famous most successful Kickstarter, the Apple iPod Nano got  a head start towards fulfilling that desire. An LCD screen device as clock, MP3 player and more. But it still just didn’t seem like enough for people. Despite it’s rave desire on Kickstarter, the masses eagerly awaiting the release, it’s still left some wanting more.

Enter, i’m Watch. http://www.imwatch.it/en/

It’s an Android based “Smart Watch” for everyone. Packed with an IMX233 processor, 128MB ram, 4GB flash memory, a rechargeable Li-Po 450 mA Battery, this watch can run 48 hours on standby without it’s bluetooth connection turned on. That time is cut in half with Bluetooth connected. What’s the Bluetooth for?  This watch gathers all of it’s info, data, email, messages, calls from your smartphone. You can take a call through your watch like Dick Tracy! Or check your email without having to dig into your pocket to pull out your phone. And the 1.54″ TFT display has a 240×240 pixel resolution at 220 PPI, enough to use it’s touchscreen’s menu options while still displaying the time.

Dec 30

You make me Derp!

So when I was living in Houston, I had a neighbor who’s laptop had a virus. So while I was backing up his data before completely reinstalling Windows, I came across some very… risque photos of his girlfriend. It started to make me think of how some people are just very clueless about what exactly we can see and do on their systems. I know that if I had any photos like that of my wife on a system I was going to have a tech look at, I’d quickly back them up and remove them from the computer.

This is the reason why GeekSquad has gotten busted numerous times for their techs backing up people’s photos onto their personal flash drives. I mean come on, when you have photos of a naked, attractive, scantily clad, or heck, even just some good looking woman sitting on your computer in your “My Photos” section, you don’t think those guys aren’t sneaking a peak?

And since this is a relatively PG-13 site, I present you the censored Barbi picture.

By Professional Recreationalist

Older posts «

» Newer posts