Aug 21

Derpina needs a job.

So in today’s economy, when you’re job hunting, you need to make sure you present yourself in the best possible way. So my wife gave her two week notice to the company she

works for and has been tasked with finding a proper replacement when she leaves. I’ve decided to protect the identity of one of the applicants that I’m only going to refer to as “Derpina.” Derpina decided to turn in this wonderful resume for my wife to review. For starters, you can see that Derpina forgot some crucial information for the cover letter. I don’t really think cover letters are really THAT important, however it’s still common practice to turn one in. If you’re filling out your downloaded template cover letter, don’t leave the position your

applying for blank or any section blank for that matter. Otherwise, the template does an excellent job in conveying the message.

With Derpina’s outstanding writing skills “The most recent job”, “Then there was”, “Before that I was working at” she’s got some real talent and should be entered into the fast track to upper management.

Take some notes if you’re looking for a job. /Sarcasm

 

 

Aug 12

I derp’d on Google+

So this evening when I was browsing around, reading all of the wonder posts on Google+. I hit the notification square to see what someone had commented on. While moving my hand back to the keyboard, I happened to hit one of the arrow keys while in the notification drop down. DERP! Oh how tricky you are Google+. Hiding such a nifty little feature like that. Low and behold, the notification drop down slides to reveal the Google+ post with the comments already expanded. So I hit another arrow key, and it moves to the next post. Sliding back and forth between posts that I’ve commented in with ease. So there you have it. Today’s Derp, and Today’s little Google+ Trick.

Aug 12

Shut up!

(This may contain some small spoilers if you haven’t seen The Avengers)

Tonight’s RaleighWood trip started out like any other RaleighWood trip, except we left earlier because it was the first showing of The Avengers for the small yet quaint theatre. My father hadn’t seen the movie yet so I figured it would be a good time to take him. We showed up 1 hour before the movie was going to start only to find a decent sized crowd building up in the lobby. And no, it’s not like they were going to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel in one of the theatre’s two screens. Eager for my father to see the movie, we got what I consider as the best seats in the house (upper dining area in the center).

I’ll skip ahead a little bit and discontinue boring you with details about the theatre though. So we get to a “slight” joke scene in the movie and while noone else in the theatre even let out the slightest chuckle under their breathe, and while I’ll only name this man as “Jackass” since I have no idea who he really is, let’s out the most annoying laugh I’ve EVER heard. Loud enough that I’m sure everyone in the theatre heard it and some even laughed at his laugh. This continued throughout most of the movie, even during some scenes in the movie where there was no humor… Namely one where Hawkeye pulls an arrow out of his quiver and shoots an alien with it.

So tonight, I am dubbing Movie Theatre Jackass, Jackass Derp of the week.

Since I haven’t posted in a little while, I will accompany this with an image containing humor about the topic.

Jun 06

Samsung Galaxy Note, too much?

These days, the general saying has been “Bigger is better.” But is it really? Phones have gone back and forth with Zack Morris Phonetheir sizes for years. I remember watching Saved by the Bell with Zack Morris and his massive Motorola Dynatac 8000X  as seen on the right. I’m hereby labeling the Galaxy Note a “Zack Morris Phone.” It’s 5.5″ of massive SAMOLED resolution, nifty little stylus all packed in a sweet Galaxy S II series styled chassis. But really? When you buy a phone like this, are you really going to use it for it’s general intention. A mini-tablet for you to write notes, scroll through documents with greater ease, or read more information from web pages? Probably not. Facebook doesn’t look any better on it, your photos that you took with it still suck because you don’t know how to compose a good picture. You look like you’re trying to make a call from a tablet. And some people are even starting to complain about how they are getting hand cramps when using the phone for extended periods of time held against their head on a phone call. So for those of you that make a lot of phone calls without a bluetooth headset, you might want to think again for this phone. Here’s a comparison of the

Galaxy Note against some other top contending phones. Rumor has it the Samsung Galaxy Note II is releasing and will be even bigger than the previous model. Well, we don’t always get sneak peaks all that often but since this is such BIG news for a lot of

people, we’ve decided to leak a picture of someone using it. And yes, I know this is not real. That’s why it’s a joke. The man in the picture below is holding a tablet up to his head. But that’s what most people look like with the note against their head anyway.

 

 

Jun 04

Trololololo Derp

If you consider yourself an avid Youtube watcher, then you’ve probably run into this video.

What you may not know is that the man featured in the video singing the song is Eduard Khil. Eduard Khil just passed away at 77 after having a stroke. He’s done such wondrous recognitions as  Trolololol, hahahaha-oh, hohoho-oh and who could forget yayayayayayayayaya-hohohoh.

His creepy smile and song will haunt the internet for ages. Thanks Eduard Khil, may you rest in peace.

 

Eduard Khil

1935-2012

Jun 01

Did we really fall this far behind?

Yes we did. My writers are on strike complaining about their paychecks. The site is getting inundated with spam comments and the news isn’t being posted. So we took a hiatus and will be posting more as we dig up stuff.

Meanwhile, look at this picture of a cat with lasers shooting out of it’s eyes.

MeowZap

Jan 19

I’m bringin’ Geeky back!

So all through the 80′s and 90′s, anyone part of the IT industry was labeled as a nerd or a geek. These terms were once deemed as hurtful and unnecessary. IT professionals often didn’t want to try to explain what they do as people typically would reply with a quick “Oh so you’re a computer nerd.” response thinking they were being cunning linguists.

But the world changes. And with change, comes newer concepts. And yes, I’ll name a few people that some IT professionals would shutter to be compared to or even mentioned in the same sentence with. Mark Zuckerburg, has been one of the biggest names to aiding in our defense. The college-boy wonder that brought social networking to one site, making him the youngest billionaire in the world. He’s definitely aided in making IT professionals come to terms that in today’s modern world, Geeks are Sexy. And I’m not talking about pure looks here. Let’s face it, the average IT person doesn’t look like Brad Pitt, Matt Damon or George Clooney. And let’s not forget the scarce female IT person rarely looks like Jessica Biel, Eva Longoria, or Ashley Judd. (Let’s not get into a debate on attractive people on the red carpet and stick to the subject).

So whether you’re that lone IT ranger out there with his mind set on small business and home support or that IT task force taking on corporate America, feel free to rival in your new found title. Geeks!

Wear the name proud because who knows when this trend will end.

Jan 19

SOPA creator did a derp.

So if you haven’t heard about SOPA, then you must be living under a rock. If you have, then this article will make sense. SOPA creator Lamar Smith was caught in his own unlawful act that would go against his own bill that he’s trying to pass. His personal campaign website had a picture that was used as a background image to his site. The small amount that could be seen was enough for some savvy internet detectives to find that the image was taken by a photographer: DJ Schult. No mention of whom the picture was taken by, no credit given, automatically means that Mr. Smith was in violation of the very thing he’s trying to pass. Nice work Lamar.

Despite the onslaught of some of the webs biggest websites opposing the SOPA bill for yesterdays “Blackout” which was sort of a mass message awareness day, Lamar is dead set on continuing with his quest to acquire more hair dye or a new toupee. I mean… He’s continuing his quest for SOPA.

Link to source

Jan 17

Can’t get it up…..

So I work for a software company that at times has some large scale updates to our software at many different offsite locations. So before we perform any sort of upgrade, we must contact the client to let them know that people must not be using our software until I give them a call and tell them they can hop back on. So I perform the upgrade and give the the contact a call, previously, I had spoken to a woman as the primary contact was not in. So this time, I get the primary contact.

Me: Hello BOB, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve finished your upgrade and everyone can log back in.

Bob: Ok, I’ll test.

Me: Alright, that sounds like a great idea.

*a couple seconds pass*

Bob: I can’t get it up…. up…. up… get it up… dated….

Me: …………..

Bob: I’m sorry… That sounded buh…..buh… bad

Me: That’s ok… how’s the update working for you?

Bob: It’s guh…. guh…. good… I’m gonna go now…

Me: Alright, let us know if you have any issues. Have a good day.

Bob: uh huh bye

Enter lots of laughter and facepalm. I feel for people who stutter. It’s not like they can help it for the most part, but I just couldn’t help myself from his misfortune at that moment in time. Who can blame me.

 

Jan 17

Awesome movie art.

So you have your large flatscreen TV, your full surround sound tweaked, your perfect seat on the sofa, your popcorn and favorite beverage. But your walls are looking a little slim. Personally my walls aren’t bare. My wife has her Capiella pictures up. HOWEVER, these movie artwork posters are definitely an eye turning wall decoration. These illustrated masterpieces of the movies for the past 40+ years are not only quizing, but also beautifully done.

The link below will take you to where these are kept for a closer look and you can also check out his other work.

Stephen Wildish Website

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